Blah Blah Blah...I'm Grumpy and Don't Know How to Get Out of It

I'm grumpy. Most of the time. EVERYTHING irritates me lately. Except the kiddos, well, the baby. Jordan doesn't for the most part, but I'm easily snappable at the 13 year old. I don't want to be the grumpy bitchy mom. It's only me after all. I want to be the mom who does fun stuff, but I also have to be the enforcer. I haven't had much trouble with it until now. How does a single mom accomplish that?

I feel like maybe, sometimes I am a bit hard on him. I snapped a couple of days ago when he asked, again, about buying dress shoes. He will wear dress shoes maybe three times a year. He needs to wear them to a wedding next weekend. But, I am BROKE. Not the oh, we can wait until payday broke, but broke like I have about -$500 at the end of every month broke. So, I said he could call his Uncle and see if he has any size 11 dress shoes that he could possibly wear to this wedding and we'd buy some before the next time he needs them. Then 2 minutes later he asked again. SOOO, we got into a huge fight and I told him about all the medical bills and everything. I also told him I don't have to explain my decisions to him, yada yaada. How do I get a 13 year old to just be a kid and not have to worry about money? We made up and hugged and I apologized about blowing up and explained to him that I want to buy him everything his big ole heart desires, but I can't. We are living on a need-only basis. The wants need to be written down and saved for birthday or Christmas or whatever. It breaks my heart to not be able to get him that new game he really really wants or take him to the movies at the drop of a hat.

Anyway, I usually wouldn't just snap about that. Maybe I need to go to my doctor. Since having Lucas, I've been moodier and can't lose weight and a few other things you probably don't want to hear about. I'm not up to par and really want to be.

April Fool's Day

Happy April Fool's Day!!

I've thought and thought about a prank to pull, but about this time last year is when I told my poor parents that I was pregnant. I don't think they would appreciate a prank yet.

I was hoping the cop who stopped me this morning right after I dropped off the baby would play an April Fool's joke on me, but no, he still gave me my speeding ticket. 40 in a 25. I really thought it was 35. He even had the Hitler-stache goin on. It was actually really quite amusing.

Cop: "Ma'am, do you know why I stopped you?"

Do they teach that line in cop school??

Me: "Um, no" I really don't know why he whipped a shitty in the middle of rush hour to pull me over.

"You were speeding. Do you know the speed limit on this road?"

Me: "35."

Cop: "Nope, 25, but you were going 40. So even if it was 35 you still would have been speeding. Why are you rushing this morning."

Me: "I'm running late for work. Have to be there at 8."

Cop: "You wouldn't have been on time anyway."

DICK!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, my ranting is done. I have to figure out where to squeeze $127 out of my extremely tight budget. Fun stuff. Maybe I should talk to friends who are friends with some of the cops in this particular suburb...

My Jordan

So, I have this son, he's 13. And he's your average 13 year old boy, and at the same time he's not your average 13 year old boy.

My Jordan

I'm a single parent, wait, I'm an only parent. I had Jordan when I was 19, and he changed my world. I was all at once doing this for someone else, not for me. I fell in love with him before he was bigger than an apple, and have more love for him each and every day. He was an amazing baby, all smiles and laughs. He was an easy baby. He was a ahead of the milestones for his age, which wasn't surprising, he was around adults 99% of the time. His favorite word when he was 2 was "actually". And he used it correctly.

Jordan is smart. He's always been smart. He wants to be a trauma surgeon. If anyone can do it, Jordan can. My baby is rewarded for good grades. If he gets all A's, he gets to go somewhere with Nini and Grandpa. His first trip was to Chicago with Nini. That was in 3rd grade. 4th grade he went with Grandpa to South Dakota. They drove and stopped along the way to see whatever they wanted. 5th grade he went to Mexico with Nini, Grandpa, and me. 6th grade he went back to Mexico with Nini and Grandpa, he scuba dived that time. This year he's on his way to earning a trip to Bonaire. This is an awesome diving location. He's getting certified before he leaves in June. As long as he keeps his grades all A's. His last report card was awesome. He has 2 A-'s all year. Everything else is A. A A A A A A A A A!! (Can you tell I'm proud of him beyond words???)

He's also into sports. He plays football in the fall, basketball in the winter, track in the spring. In the summer you can find him racing karts through SCCA (Sports Car Club of America). He was the regional Rookie of the Year last year, and he won his class in the region as well.

Jordan racing

About a year ago I told him that he was going to be a big brother. He was excited but didn't show it. A couple of months before Lucas arrived he told he didn't want to get attached until he was actually here. The only baby he's been around is my nephew, who spent 3 weeks in Children's Mercy when he was born 5 weeks early. That scared him a lot. He was afraid to get hurt if something happened to his baby brother.

Jordan and his cousin, Ethan.

He's amazing with Lucas. He tries to make him laugh and you can see his eyes light up when he succeeds. I am excited to see what kind of a big brother he emerges into.

Jordan and his brother, Lucas

My Jordan is amazing. I hope everyone has a kid like this in their lives. HE is the future and that helps me rest easy each and every night.

Hi!

I'm new to this, so bear with me. I'm hoping to use this to record the wonderful, and not so wonderful, happenings in my world. I have 2 kids: a 13 year old boy and a 4 month old boy. You'll learn more about them soon, I'm sure!

I have all kinds of random thoughts that make me unique, just like everyone else. :) I'm looking forward to this and hope it helps me to better express myself.

Thanks for stopping by!!